How to Choose a Mentor/Coach: Top 6 Human Needs

Hi, and welcome to today’s session. I am Gilles Brideau. I’m a psychotherapist, I’m a coach, and a hypnotherapist that lives in Sudbury, Ontario. Today’s session we’re going to look at the importance of why to get a mentor or a coach. I’m going to look at this from a very unique perspective, using the human needs psychology, the top six human needs.

The first need is the need for certainty. So what my coach provides me in terms of a level of certainty is he always gives me reassurance, not because of what is said, but because he has been successful and has applied the knowledge in real life. This is what I mean. Throughout my research and discovering, since that time, I’ve discovered his abilities online to produce. It’s not just based on theory. It’s not just based on the experience of listening to other people. I know that he’s applied his skills to provide him with a consistent six-figure income. The application of a skill provides me with a level of certain in the fact that I know I can look to this person to guide me in the direction of where I want to go.

Which is really important, because if you have a lot of doubt going in, it’s going to really affect your ability to follow through. So I know I can trust him because he’s been there before, he’s done it, he’s been successful in the different platforms that I’m looking to create, whether that’s doing courses or selling products online. He provides me with a really strong reassurance. Again, it’s not necessarily what he verbally says, but as he’s recently put out in a video, his resume speaks for himself, which is the number of products, videos and output that he has put out over time. That provides me with a lot of certainty.

The next component, or the next need, is the need for variety. Now, for sure, with over a thousand videos that you can watch of his, what he provides me in terms of variety is always challenging me on a weekly basis to move out of my comfort zone and to challenge myself to be more creative and to create more variety in terms of content, more variety in terms of how I can reach a different audience and more variety in terms of platforms, platforms like this one, platforms like Facebook. There’s always variety in terms of learning. You get to a certain point, a certain age like I am in life and you think that your learning is done. Not even close, especially not in this platform. I’m bombarded with regular new information, which I find exciting. It provides me with a high level of variety.

The next need is around significance. The need for significance is the need to feel valued, respected, cared for. I found from my first, very first encounter, not session, with him, but my very first encounter with him, which was through an email, he responded to me probably within an hour, probably even quicker than that. I knew it wasn’t just an auto responder, because he had answered some specific questions on the emails that I had sent. By doing that, it made me feel like I was significant, I was important. In turn, the level of significance that I’m going to have in time, based on my own resume online, will then create a great platform for clients to be able to feel concretely that I’m a person that they would want to work with. So I think when I work with clients, I try to do that more than anything, just provide them with the feeling that you are more important than anything else, and I’ve found that’s what he’s done really well.

The next one is around connection. The connection with him, like I said, was kind of instant. We have kind of a mutual interest in terms of young children. My son is 15 months old, and his daughter is around a year old. So there’s a sense of connection as new dads, kind of plodding our way along, trying to figure things out. There was a connection on that piece. But there was also a connection in terms of just his ability to be grateful, his ability to, again, just connect with me on a different level. I had attempted to look at different coaches and mentors online, but his ability to transmit that through words and now through face-to-face contact online has really assured me that I feel really connected to him and that I could trust him moving forward.

The next need is around growth. If you fail to grow, you die. How he pushes me to grow, without I’ve talked about this before, is by continuing to produce content, continuing to push myself way out of my comfort zone. Again, I’ve admitted this to you before. Because this platform is very new to me, I’m not always sure what I’m doing, even when it comes to websites. I know I can really connect with clients once they’re in front of me, but more of the marketing component is what’s really new to me. He continues to strive to make me grow by challenging me on a weekly basis, also by holding me accountable. It’s very easy to make excuses, and if I wanted to I could step back and get lazy, but he forces me to continue to grow. By continuing to do that, I know in the long term, my business will prosper.

The last need is around contribution, more so contribution beyond self. His approach was very much different than any other coach or mentor that I had looked at. Previously, it was all around creating funnel pages, and if you send me your email, then maybe I will give you something in return. His is really based on contribution beyond self, what can I give you more of. So a lot of the content that he suggest is free. It doesn’t matter what knowledge you had in the past, this is where you start and this is how you start to establish a relationship. He often gives the example of a relationship like you wanted to start a relationship in the real world. It’s kind of like on the first date you wouldn’t actually suggest to anybody to sleep with them. But I find with a lot of the marketers that I had looked online, that’s what they want on the first encounter, pretty much everything about me, email, all that kind of stuff. His approach is a much different one. His approach is what can I give you more, let’s establish a relationship, I’m not going to ask anything of you, I just want to give you more. I think that’s a really kind of good foundations for giving beyond self. Give more, expect little in turn, and allow relationships to grow long-term, and that way you’ll have much better outcomes.

That’s the six needs. Needless to say, I am really grateful for having my coach, how he continues to push me out of my comfort zone, and he continues to challenge me to product content that allows me to contribute, to feel more certain, to feel more significant, allow me to have variety, and allow me to feel connected to you, my viewer. Thanks so much for watching. I would challenge you to write any kind of question with regards to coaching down in the space below, in the comments section. I will do my best to respond to you as quickly as I can. Of course, if you liked the content of this video, don’t hesitate to like it and subscribe to my channel. Thanks so much for watching, once again. This is Coach G signing off.